5 things I miss most since becoming a Mum (plus 5 more)

Life has changed since I became a Mum. I knew it would of course and I don't begrudge it (most of the time, anyway) but there are things I do miss from my child-less days as an independent person.

They are the things I took for granted every day. Simple things. I haven't even included my waist, butt and boobs in this list of 10 things I miss the most (although I could certainly add these to a more comprehensive list).



1. Sleep! And being able to wake up naturally
This has to be at the top of every new Mum's list. Waking every couple of hours to feed, rock, wrap or change a newborn can really take it out of you. Then when they finally start sleeping longer, you get up just as often to check they're still breathing!

But something I miss just as much as sleep itself is being able to get up in the morning when I'm good and ready. Being able to wake when my body decides its had enough rest, then lie there even for just a few minutes before rising to take a shower or make coffee or poach eggs or whatever I decide to do first.

The reality of my mornings is somewhat different: a blur of nappies, mushy Weetbix, yoghurt finger painting, dirty pyjamas (theirs and mine), cold coffee and dry toast.

2. Hot coffee. Hot toast. Pretty much any food that is meant to be eaten hot.
Three. That's my personal record for the number of times in a single day that I've found my cold cup of coffee sitting, untouched, in the microwave. Fun fact: the third time the same cuppa is zapped is when that icky skin forms on top of the milk. Gross.

At least with coffee I have two or three chances to consume it. I've lost count of how many pieces of toast I've had to crunch down stone cold, and bowls of Just Right that were no longer just right but had become mushy and So Wrong.

The fact is, as mothers, we are more concerned with serving the kids warm food than we are with keeping our own meals hot. At least during the warmer months we can eat a raw carrot and call it salad.

3. Being able to pop to the shops (and anywhere else) whenever I want.
Gone are the days when I could decide on a whim to jump in the car and head to the shops, supermarket, cafe... pretty much anywhere. Before I had kids, when I had a hankering for a bipimbap, I'd simply walk out my front door and go get one; if I felt like taking in an old rom com I could pop out for a DVD.

My free time was my own to do with whatever I wished, I could spend an hour poking through the cramped, dusty shelves of my favourite secondhand book store or put my feet up for a pedicure any time I liked. Decisions made with a moment's notice.

These days, I don't pop anywhere.

With two kids to organise, it takes me half an hour to get out the door! Once we arrive wherever we're going, and have managed to find a place to park the car that allows enough space to unload my gigantic double pram from the boot and also squeeze a child out of both back doors, it takes 10 minutes to unbuckle them both, extract them from the car then strap them into the pram. Phew!

And I'm still not able to wander the crowded bookstore or have my toes done...

4. Disposable income.
Half-pay maternity leave automatically halves the dollars that land in my bank account each fortnight, and boy do I notice! Add to that the extra expenses that naturally come with having a baby: nappies, wipes, breast pads, onesies, booties, bibs, toys, dummies, bottles, baby foods.

And these are the things that keep needing to be bought. All the time. It seems every time I go to the supermarket I wind up with a basket full of things for the tiny people in my house, with only the bottle of low fat milk for me.

5. My wardrobe.
This might seem an odd thing to miss but I have a wardrobe full of clothes that I can't wear because they no longer fit! I've had to buy a couple of larger size loose t-shirts and some tracksuit pants to wear around the house, and I can tell you now I'm sick to death of wearing tracky-dacks.

And a few special pairs have somehow now become tie-died with bleach splotches!?

God, how I miss jeans...

6. Clear surfaces.
Tables, bench tops, floors... every single surface in my house seems to be covered with discarded toys, plates, cups, half-eaten food, spilt yoghurt, mashed strawberries, blankets, socks and shoes. Every day, several times a day, I take a tour around the house with a plastic washing basket on my hip, collecting all the crap and redistributing it where it belongs. Some days it's like painting the Sydney Harbour Bridge: I get to the end only to have to start at the beginning again.

7. Reading books.
I've always loved reading. I enjoy getting to know the characters and following their journeys. I used to take a novel to my local cafe, devouring a chapter with my coffee and muffin; and to the Sushi Train to read some pages while I waited for the seared salmon ngiri. I always had a book in my handbag for whenever I found myself with time to kill. And at night, I'd snuggle under the covers of my bed and read little before I went to sleep.

These days there's not a snowball's chance I could manoeuvre my gigantic double pram into a Sushi Train or hope the kids would simultaneously sleep or sit quietly long enough for me to read a chapter anywhere! And when bedtime rolls around I'm too damned tired to hold a book up let alone read, comprehend or get excited about the story.

8. Going to the movies.
I'm aware there are Mums 'n' Bubs sessions in certain cinemas with soundproof crying rooms at the back but it doesn't really appeal to me. If I'm busily rocking a screeching babe in the soundproof room, how am I supposed to suspend reality enough to get into the film, follow the characters, and hold a bucket of popcorn?

Plus, I have a two year toddler who loves to run. Rows and rows of chairs in a huge darkened room, carpeted with bits of discarded popcorn, Jaffas and Lord knows what other treasures for him to find and swallow... how could I expect him to sit quietly and watch the film?

9. Travelling light.
Oh to skip out the door with sunnies on my head, phone in my hand and ATM card in my back pocket!

Kids come with so much STUFF! Whenever we go anywhere I take a very large handbag stuffed with nappies in two different sizes, wipes, nappy bags, a changing mat, two or three toys, water and three or four different snacks in tiny Tupperware (because God knows what will be eaten and what will be thrown out of the moving pram, crumbled through toddler's clothing or smeared all over their face).

Then of course there are the extras that are packed depending on the activity we're going to do. If we plan to have a meal while we're out, bibs are needed as well as a bendy straw and a million more wipes. If we're going to the park or somewhere outside, we mustn't forget the sunscreen, hats and spare sets of clothing to replace the ones being worn that will almost certainly get muddy or wet (even when there appears to be no signs of water anywhere nearby). And if it's a visit to the supermarket, I've learned to take a backpack in which to carry all the stuff I invariably buy then realise I can't jam in the space beneath my giant pram.

10. Travelling anywhere.
Re-read point 9. If that's what it takes to do a simple run to the shops, imagine the planning, packing and lugging involved in any sort of overnight or extended trip! I've taken to finding companies located wherever we are going from which to rent portacots, high chairs and prams to save myself having to drag them along with us. But I cannot escape the mountains of clothes, nappies and other things I cannot leave behind.

Holidays aren't exactly relaxing these days... they're a lot of work! And I shudder at the thought of travelling with two little ones on a plane.